King’s Arms (Oxford)
April 8, 9, 1943
I love you so much, my darling. Please believe that. Things have been difficult these last years, but I want so much to make you happy. That’s what I always said I’d do. You are the best, the most dear person I’ve ever known. Life is sometimes so beastly that one wishes one were dead, [Greene originally wrote and then amended “I wish I were dead”] & I go to places like Mexico & Freetown in a half hope that everything will be finished – but . . . back I come and ask you to like me & go on liking me. You mean more to me than the children, though I may seem nicer to them! Sometimes I wish I could twist a ring & skip twenty years & be old with you, with all this ragged business over. I’ve never wanted to be old, but with you I could be old & happy. God bless you, dear. God bless you, dear. I’ve told a lot of lies in 38 years or I suppose in 35 years, one couldn’t lie from the cradle – but this is true. I hate life & I hate myself & I love you. Never forget that. I don’t hate life, ever, when I’m with you and you are happy, but if I ever made you unhappy really badly & hopelessly or saw life make you that, I’d want to die quickly. There’s a cat moving outside the door. If it were you how quickly I’d let you in. I love you dear, good night. Keep this.
Uma carta de Graham Greene para a sua mulher Vivienne Dayrell-Browning, via The Times, que nos dá a conhecer uma série de cartas de Greene, publicadas agora em livro (Graham Greene: A Life in Letters).